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Thursday, 3 September 2015

Forgive me...

I know I cheated on you, left you believing  the grass was greener on the other side. I was lured away by the thought of youth, the attention and better days. In truth it wasn't to be. Oh yes Tumblr may have given me more attention, liked the things I did, boosted my ego a little, but it wasn't for me. Everyone on there was just so... Well so young goddamit! Last time I felt that old it was on a night out in Revs when I glanced at myself in the harshly lit toilet mirror over the sea of beautiful young faces, pouting and applying more slap upon slap.  Never again! (In, pee, head down, wash hands, leave).
So forgive me Google Blogger. Allow me to return to the warmth of your motherly bosom and write inane drivel for the joy of my 13 followers who probably don't read it anyway. Never again shall I betray you.

12.9.15 Edit...I lied.

What's the Big Issue?

Another one of my scribblings...

What's the Big Issue?

Awakening from his sleep he stretches,
Dressed in designer jeans and
Adidas trainers
he's once again ready for the day ahead.
And when he reaches his workplace
he sits,
and waits.

He watches them pass by,
his coevals,
once his equals.
Gorging on fast food and confectionary goods.
They cast him a glance,
a guilty look.
Some spare him change,
those that don't he spits upon,
there but for the grace of God...
He sees faces he recognises
and they stare,
trying to place thus familiar stranger.
It unnerves them
and that makes him smile.

When the shoppers dissipate
he returns to his doorway,
his cardboard home.
Sips his medicine from a bourbon bottle
and dreams in colour.
He sees his daughter's face
which illuminates his life.
Hears cries of
"Daddy's  home!"
He glances at his wife,
overtired and over patient.
Visions of prosperity dance before his eyes.
Saville suits and Chelsea boots.
Signs of success
not blessedness.

When the sun rises he opens his eyes
and faces reality
painted in black and white.

Saturday, 25 May 2013

Moving home...

Nobody Loves me everybody hates me think I'll go and eat worms... I know how they feel! I am leaving blogger and flitting to tumblr. Come and visit...I'll bake (for bake replace buy) a cake!

Tuesday, 12 March 2013

I want...

Now don't get me wrong, when asked what I would wish for if I could have anything no doubt my answer would be the same as every other person. I want world peace, I want an end to needless suffering,I want an end to world hunger. I really do want these things, but ask me to be honest (and everyone else as I am sure I'm not alone if you be honest to yourselves) what I really, really want (yes I did sing that like the Spice Girl know me so well by now!) is to eat without getting fatter, to stop seeing an older person each time I look into the mirror and to win squillions of pounds. They are just my main wants, I have so many more. (Including it being totally acceptable at age 42 plus to love Hello Kitty and attend The Wombats concerts without looking like a chaperone.) So in a nutshell...I want to be thinner, I want to be younger, I want to be rich, I want to be happy. God I'm shallow...

Sunday, 10 March 2013


Tell me what you think about me...(if you didn't sing it, for shame! You should have done.) but seriously, and it is a serious question, who the hell eats half a packet of smarties? Why do you ask? I hear you cry. I shall tell you. My daughter came home the our week with a packet of smarties upon her person given to her from the bottom of a kind benefactor's bag. Mmmmm, I thought, I love a smartie and persuaded her to part with a few. (No mean task trust me. I should work for the U.N such are my reasoning/pleading/begging skills!) then I noticed the packet...89 calories! For a pack of smarties? Goddam how did I never know this? In all of my 42 years (at least 30 of those spent calorie counting one way or another) why had I not been made aware of this fact? Those little suckers are chocolate heaven. You suck on their crispy shell until it gives way to a rich river of chocolate. Divine. So I buy many packets and end up with one left (my daughter and son should also work for the U.N) and as I hand I've the last but one pack to my son he says those fatal words "89 calories? For half a pack of smarties? Who eats half a pack of smarties?' He truly is my son. So now I sit, having stuffed my face with six of my beloved cow biscuits (43 calories each) dunked in a cuppa...for the damage is already done.

Friday, 25 January 2013


Creative writing has moved onto poetry...this I like but whether it likes me time will only tell. I sometime fear my poetry is infantile...rather like myself.
  LOKI Loki (8 syllable x 3)
 Menacing, michievous kitten
 Tail a twitching, ready to pounce
Am I, once more, to be bitten?

 Each step is an invitation
Each digit on my feet a threat
You purr with anticipation.

Brave yet cautious I take the plunge
towards the exit to the stairs
but eyes a-glistening you lunge!

Like a limpet clinging, biting
Cannot shake you like a disease.
Why is my pain so inviting?

Friday, 16 November 2012

Random road kill and groovy grannies!

Little things that make me smile; * random road kill. So I am driving my daughter to catch her train to London and we are laughing, singing along to The Killers (naturally) and making general chit chat as one does. Suddenly I see road kill ahead and move aside as not to sully my Ponyo. (Ponyo is the name of my car, she is orange and beautiful, she does not love ham.) As I pass said road kill my daughter and I exchange a quizzical glance, was that a huge fish? It was! Fish road kill! Never before and probably never again shall we witness this phenomenon. We felt blessed. * groovy grannies. Shopping in Newcastle Under Lyme we come across two grannies, both dressed in purple coats, maybe sisters? We go into a shop and there before me is one of my very favourite Christmas decorations, a snowman that dances to Ice Ice Baby. That in itself makes me smile. The old ladies seem intrigued so I press the button to start the fun...and they both start dancing! Both ladies dance in exactly the same way. It made my day, sad but true. * chocolate. No explanation necessary...